Just get on with it...

So in getting away from campus last night I went to Manchester's answer to the Glasgow Film Theatre, The Cornerhouse. Full of pretentious wankers discussing themes and rhetoric and the genius of some obscure director in really loud voices while looking around to see who noticed their vast knowledge. I'm not one of them. I just like films, I even don't like some films. In fact, there are probably more books and films that I don't like, than those I do.

So, weaving my little way through the wankers, I found my seat in the 80's retro cinema with bright red comfortable seats and those weird mottled glass shades over bare bulbs around the edges. They even have a curtain over the strangely small screen which was to show the EPIC in every sense of the word 'There Will Be Blood'. The wankers loved it.

To be honest, I liked it too, but it was just too long, not enough happened to warrant the two and a half hours in which I had to sit (beside my sleeping boyfriend let me add) wondering where this was all going. It was filmed beautifully and Daniel Day-Lewis thoroughly deserved his Best Actor Oscar as the tormented oil merchant greedily buying up land for his personal gain. But it did take a while to get started, 15 minutes without a word spoken to begin. Which I thought was brilliant, you don't notice until someone does speak that it's been a while.

But, and I feel bad for criticising this wildly acclaimed film (I think it's the wankers' influence), I didn't care about it until the last hour and a half where the characters really came into their own and some shocking twists and turns leave you gripped, not knowing whether to love or hate Daniel Day-Lewis' excellent portrayal of Daniel Plainview. Apparently he spent four years working on the part and the depth and absolute immersion in the film is clear.

It leaves you thinking, wondering what to believe, and in a weird way, thinking about people and what they want to achieve. How long before passion turns into greed, and how long before it takes over your life and you have to live with the consequences, and will you really care?

Hmmm... Maybe I am one of the wankers, but at least I'm not out in public shouting about it!

I'm starting again....

This last week has been a complete and utter write off. Everything that could have gone wrong did and I have this female complex (which is new, I think it means I'm getting old) which means I take responsibility for things to keep the peace then feel guilty about them even though these things weren't my fault.

I've apologised where necessary and shouted where appropriate along with making some people really understand where I'm coming from which is also a new trait, but which has had (semi) good results today.

I'm still feeling the hangover, emotionally and it's definitely showing physically, hence the show off my favourite clothes in my 365 project, just so I don't have to show my face! The emotional hangover is much harder to deal with, like I said, some things were my fault, others were not. But I feel guilty about them all, and I don't know what to do except forget and move on.

I'm not going to go into detail about everything that has happened, very counter-productive on the moving on I would think. So this is the fresh start, I'll deal with the sickness and the pressure and the stress and the dissertation and forget about the people and just get on.

I hope it works.

In other news I got this email today:


Hi Shelley,

Thanks very much for this - you've done a really good job.

On the strength of this, would you be interested in writing anything else for the next issue?

Just let me know over the next week or so.

Many thanks. Jayne

From corporate communications after I wrote a lengthy news story for them. Quite pleased with that, not too sure if I can take on any extra work yet, but good news all round I think.

Lets hope the good stuff continues...