The Dress.

Is one of the hardest things to choose for the final year Valedictory Ball (is that how you spell it? Anyway, it's the Vall Ball from now on). Well it is for me anyway. I like to think of myself as a bit of an individual so no LBD for me. I also have red hair and very pale skin, so no pink, orange, white, cream, gold or beige either. I'm also short. Quite short. So nothing long, not longer than a normal person's knee length anyway. On top of that, I'm quite small but with some pretty big boobs, so that rules out anything strapless without boning, anything that's supposed to be fitted, (it fits everywhere and the boobs are spilling out, or it fits the boobs and is hanging off everywhere else).

Also, as a bona fide kooky chick, I don't want anything boring or even similar to anyone else, so that rules out anything from Monsoon, Coast, River Island, Top Shop, Miss Selfridge and TK Maxx. And I'd also like it to top last year's outfit, a yellow mini dress with electric blue belt, shoes and makeup.

As you can see, it's been a struggle. I have however had my eye on one of these beauties. But, being a student, and after paying out £45 for a ticket, they were a little out of my price range.

Enter.... EBAY! I have just won this little lovely. I'm impressed! Now, I know it's from George at ASDA, and I know it's probably not going to be as perfect in the flesh as it is in my mind. But I'm thinking, get rid of that little sash thing, get a big fat (adjustable) belt, a huge underskirt and put my size fours in some kick ass shoes. I reckon I'll be good to go!

Lets just hope no one else has the same taste as me!

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.

So I was absolutely desperate to see Happy-Go-Lucky at the Cornerhouse cinema last night and boy did it deliver. Sally Hawkins is utterly believeable in the stupidly happy role and she plays it completely without irony.

I was talking about this film in work on Tuesday night and I was saying "Well it's called Happy-Go-Lucky and the main character it totally optimistic about everything and tries to spread that love around. But you know, I'm sure something happens at the end where it falls spectacularly apart."

But it didn't, I was waiting for it. Bad things do happen to good people. And people can't be that happy all of the time. But Poppy can, and you believe it, and you love her. Even though everyone around her wants to protect her as they think she's secretly harbouring some massive depression. She's not. She's just like that.

I'm not sure that Mike Leigh, also director of Vera Drake, is trying to make any kind of profound statement about optimism, happiness or the intrinsic British trait of expecting everything to go wrong at any given moment. I think he was trying to make a lovely film, about a lovely character who handles her life in the most peculiar but spectacular way. She always knows what to say, but not in a smart arse way that makes you want to hate her. Occasionally the dialogue is a little cringeworthy and the extremely quick comebacks seem a little planned sometimes. But nothing can take away from the genuine niceness of this film.

Everyone needs a little bit of Poppy in their lives. And I'll defintely be buying th DVD to watch when I feel a dark cloud passing overhead.

Exams, to-do lists and wishing my life away...

I've never been the type of person to wish my life away, if I'm unhappy about something then I'll try to change it, if I'm looking forward to something I'll count down the days but keep myself busy with everything else instead of wishing the days away.

Until now that is. I absolutely cannot wait to get my final exam out of the way and relax. This has been a difficult year at Uni, made more difficult with my complete inability to be pleased with any of the work I do or the marks I get. I am revising for one exam which is next week and I keep staring longingly at the calendar, my diary and to-do list wishing that it was next Wednesday and that I'd finished my degree. I never thought I'd say this, but I cannot wait to finish! I'm tempted to go straight to the bar after the exam, but stupidly, I signed myself up to work on Tuesday evening, so the Lambrini will have to wait until 8pm.

Also, I've started to really look forward to having a real job, applying for all the jobs I used to wish about are now in my reach with this degree under my belt. I'm not going to talk about them just yet, because there's one in particular that is so perfect, I'm even scared to apply! Need to get a demo of me on the radio made this week and that's all I'm saying just now! It will be all I can talk about once I've submitted that!

So, back to revision it is. What is reality? How do documentary makers attempt to represent it and how valid and effective is the blend of fact and fiction in Docudrama?

Fun times huh?

Oh, and what happened to CSI last night? The first in the new series, I was really excited, but there was nothing new, nothing different, yes I loved it and the puzzle was intriguing and the ending was a little exciting. But really, was it worth the wait? I don't think so. I could have easily found a back episode that I hadn't seen for a while and have been just as entertained. Oh well. I'm not going to stop watching though.

Is it so wrong?

As you may have gathered from my last few posts, I am currently writing my dissertation. It's in the final stages now and I can see the end looming in sight. It's due on Tuesday afternoon and I'm in the process of making it sound as good as I possibly can now. I've written all the words and now I'm trying to sound sophisticated and argumentative. It's hard.

I don't trust anyone to be honest with me about my writing and most of my friends here have their own dissertations to worry about without having to read through mine. Is it wrong that I probably wouldn't trust anyone else with it either? I wouldn't trust anyone else to make a better job of it, even though I know my work isn't exactly perfect.

Well I better get back to it, I did start writing this to get my mind going, but now I'm in the flow and thinking, I'm going to focus my efforts on why the Americanisation theory doesn't work in Britain. (Argumentative enough?).

Just who do they think they are?

White middle class men on daytime television I mean. Just who gave them the right to be so condesending and rascist and downright arrogant? I'm not talking about Phillip Schofield though, oh no, he's lovely, I'm talking about other types who aren't quite as sucessful or happy such as Jeremy Kyle and that bloke off 'The Wright Stuff'.

I have just watched a rascist, narrow minded tirade at white working class people, from a white s0-called middle class man, who thinks that because he's on the telly he has the god given right to talk over people, tell them they're inferior and completely disregard any opinion other than his own (including that of his fellow presenters) because he's the one with the 'power' to cut callers off if he doesn't want to hear them.

Who does he think he is, his argument was thin and based on his uninformed tiny little mind on a power trip. If he had a slight bit of intelligence, he would listen to his callers and get a bit of informed debate going on. But instead, he couldn't get past his own arrogance and proceeded to wind people up by shouting over then, and cutting them off when he'd said his piece.

What was interesting though, was his respect for the black people on the show. He branded everyone on his panel, as middle class because of thier jobs as journalists, writers or politicians. However, the black comedian, who is obviously earning a fair wage (since that's how he judges class) was asked "As a black working class man, do you think white people have a right to winge?!" Trying to be politically correct, because he knows there are laws against racism now was the only thing stopping this man from cutting off anyone who mentioned their race while on the phone.

What happened to informed public debate, surely shows such as this should be the sounding board for it. Not an opportunity to give a man a microphone and a power trip in the name of entertainment.

Dissertation, Dissertation...

Like Relocation Relocation, well not really, Kirsty and Phil have got nothing on political communication. I now have five sleeps until my Dissertation has to be handed in.

It's not going too badly but I keep finding interesting tangents that I could have included had I done more research earlier! I am quite far ahead, and I've done more than a lot of my friends, but by no means am I nearly finished and although I'm enjoying the process, because I have no choice but to sit here for hours on end typing and reading and typing and referencing and then giving sympathy and support to everyone else, I'm exhausted! I'm looking forward to submitting then even though I don't have to, I'm going to print and bind my work, just to have it in my hand. I'm going to be very proud of myself when I'm done.

I had something to say about Prince Harry fighting in secret.... But since it was weeks ago and I don't care as much now, I'm not going to bother. I respect the editors involved for keeping quiet and I was completely shocked at the supportive comments left on the BBC website, so that's what I was going to say in case you were wondering.

Well back to work for me.... It's going to be a strange feeling when it's over!

Just get on with it...

So in getting away from campus last night I went to Manchester's answer to the Glasgow Film Theatre, The Cornerhouse. Full of pretentious wankers discussing themes and rhetoric and the genius of some obscure director in really loud voices while looking around to see who noticed their vast knowledge. I'm not one of them. I just like films, I even don't like some films. In fact, there are probably more books and films that I don't like, than those I do.

So, weaving my little way through the wankers, I found my seat in the 80's retro cinema with bright red comfortable seats and those weird mottled glass shades over bare bulbs around the edges. They even have a curtain over the strangely small screen which was to show the EPIC in every sense of the word 'There Will Be Blood'. The wankers loved it.

To be honest, I liked it too, but it was just too long, not enough happened to warrant the two and a half hours in which I had to sit (beside my sleeping boyfriend let me add) wondering where this was all going. It was filmed beautifully and Daniel Day-Lewis thoroughly deserved his Best Actor Oscar as the tormented oil merchant greedily buying up land for his personal gain. But it did take a while to get started, 15 minutes without a word spoken to begin. Which I thought was brilliant, you don't notice until someone does speak that it's been a while.

But, and I feel bad for criticising this wildly acclaimed film (I think it's the wankers' influence), I didn't care about it until the last hour and a half where the characters really came into their own and some shocking twists and turns leave you gripped, not knowing whether to love or hate Daniel Day-Lewis' excellent portrayal of Daniel Plainview. Apparently he spent four years working on the part and the depth and absolute immersion in the film is clear.

It leaves you thinking, wondering what to believe, and in a weird way, thinking about people and what they want to achieve. How long before passion turns into greed, and how long before it takes over your life and you have to live with the consequences, and will you really care?

Hmmm... Maybe I am one of the wankers, but at least I'm not out in public shouting about it!

I'm starting again....

This last week has been a complete and utter write off. Everything that could have gone wrong did and I have this female complex (which is new, I think it means I'm getting old) which means I take responsibility for things to keep the peace then feel guilty about them even though these things weren't my fault.

I've apologised where necessary and shouted where appropriate along with making some people really understand where I'm coming from which is also a new trait, but which has had (semi) good results today.

I'm still feeling the hangover, emotionally and it's definitely showing physically, hence the show off my favourite clothes in my 365 project, just so I don't have to show my face! The emotional hangover is much harder to deal with, like I said, some things were my fault, others were not. But I feel guilty about them all, and I don't know what to do except forget and move on.

I'm not going to go into detail about everything that has happened, very counter-productive on the moving on I would think. So this is the fresh start, I'll deal with the sickness and the pressure and the stress and the dissertation and forget about the people and just get on.

I hope it works.

In other news I got this email today:


Hi Shelley,

Thanks very much for this - you've done a really good job.

On the strength of this, would you be interested in writing anything else for the next issue?

Just let me know over the next week or so.

Many thanks. Jayne

From corporate communications after I wrote a lengthy news story for them. Quite pleased with that, not too sure if I can take on any extra work yet, but good news all round I think.

Lets hope the good stuff continues...

Why do today...

When you can procrastinate until tommorow. So far today, when my draft dissertation is due in two weeks and I have a deadline on Monday, I have sorted out my emergency tax, applied for a hardship loan, paid my library fines and attempted to wash my clothes, (this is more difficult at Uni when the stupid washing machines don't work, mine, at the moment seems to have stopped with 25 minutes left to go and isn't doing anything else. Oh and the door is still locked.).

The diss is coming along very slowly but unfortunately there just isn't time for that. I need it to be coming along in leaps and bounds. I even spent over 4 hours in the library today trying to force it and it just didn't happen. I have everything in my head that I want to write about, but it's just not coming out properly on the paper.

I'm sure blogging will help...

Dissertation Looms...

The dreaded dissertation draft is due in 2 weeks, I've started spewing some random thoughts into a Word document and have somehow come up with a plan and some ramblings which has made about 600 words. That's without opening a book or Google Scholar. I'm impressed.

My dissertation supervisor has never been worried about me, he has said from the start that he thinks I'm more than capable and is impressed with the start I made to my research, he also thought my final study would be "funky". Now, I don't know about funky, but ever since he said he wasn't worried, I haven't really been either, I'm also quite good at blagging. Job interviews, tutorials, you name it, I've faked it, and made it.

I'm good at turning on the charm and asking the right questions in the right places which is ok for a part time job interview, but I'm a little frightened that I've managed to fool my tutor into thinking I know more than I do! He's confident, and that made me so confident that I've stopped working on it. Today was the first time in 2 weeks that I actually bothered to pick up my dissertation file off the floor and open the blank word document. Now I've got two weeks and a lot of plans (Juno previews in the Odeon this weekend you see, and I absolutely MUST accompany Julie to a family party, she couldn't possibly go alone!) I forsee lots of library days.... Any spare change for a manky coffee or two?

On other thoughts, I've been perusing a few more blogs than my usual favourites and have wasted quite a lot of my life, well not wasted because every one was honest and true and mostly well written, but how do I fit this rekindled passion for other people's ramblings in with all the Uni work, and knitting, and drinking, and SingStar, and Guitar Hero, and friends, and the boyfriend.... Suggestions welcome!

You'd think so wouldn't you?

You'd think that a Journalism lecturer would be able to attach a Word Document in an email would't you?

Well I have just spent half an hour downloading about 17 attachments for my exam tomorrow and not one of them is saved as a Word document. Some of them are attempting to open in Japanese and others are just half of a document in a notepad file.

I'm already unhappy with the organisation on this course and this is just ridiculous! Surely the Media department's lecturers should know how to use the technology!

Or is it just me who expects it?


On another note, how sad is it that Heath Ledger has died? Only 27 too, well that is the age that all the cool tortured people die. I'd only have 2 years left if I was a tortured genius, turns out I'm just tortured.

Defending the media..

I have just sat through an hour and a half long lecture titled: "Why Have I Studied the Media?" For me, the media studies part of my degree is an occupational hazard of my journalism degree. However, I am interested in my subjects and would not have understood the academic side of journalism if it hadn't been for the media studies.

Anyway, the lecture had nothing to do with me, although I did ask one question and then the lecturer referred to it about three times and kept looking at me so I had to fake interest instead of the outrage I actually felt! The entire lecture was about how to defend yourself against those cynical employers who don't think that Media Studies is a 'real' degree. Now I'm not going to go and look up the definition, but a degree to me means something that will prepare you for a better grade of job with a serious academic and theoretical base and background. I am studying Journalism and Media Studies which means each subject has equal weighting. I have final practical journalism projects this year, a dissertation on political communication alongside other academic modules and NCTJ exams which will vocationally prepare me for work in a newspaper or magazine.

Sounds quite like a degree to me, I do understand the arguments about media studies and other so-called 'soft subjects' but what annoyed me the most was that I had to have a lecture so that I can defend myself against ignorant old men who want me to work for free. I think I'll apply to places that will actually appreciate the amount of work that I have put in over the last three years and give me a job because I'm the best person for it. I don't want to have to defend my degree. I've worked hard for it and you WILL appreciate that!

P.S. I know my grammar and spelling are really rubbish in this post and it does feel a little half arsed but I've got a Media Law exam in 2 days so need to go and revise!

"I can't believe a year went by so fast..."

Little quote from Rent there, I've been watching it a lot recently since I (and Julie) got the DVD for Christmas. But I actually can't believe how fast last year went and now it's 2008 and that's the same year that all my Uni work is due in...

I was going to list what I have to do there, but seriously, it's not worth stressing you out about! I do however, have a Media Law exam on Thursday which I completely forgot about over Christmas, the 24th January felt just so far away. But then I got back to Uni on the 12th, got drunk and woke up on the 15th, got drunk again and woke up today, it's awful soon! I've paid for the exam now so there is no backing out. I'm a little bit confident because I've done all the work before but still. The thought of an exam on Law is going to freak anyone out.

I've also got the dreaded dissertation to compete with. I've picked a topic which makes me sound clever, but really, at the moment it's a little over my head!!

Never mind, it's my birthday on Sunday and I got my first Birthday card today so that made me happy. But I'm also concerned that the celebrations will leave me in no fit state to revise! Uni celebrations usually leave me a little bit dead for some time....... Well there's no turning back now!