The Dress.

Is one of the hardest things to choose for the final year Valedictory Ball (is that how you spell it? Anyway, it's the Vall Ball from now on). Well it is for me anyway. I like to think of myself as a bit of an individual so no LBD for me. I also have red hair and very pale skin, so no pink, orange, white, cream, gold or beige either. I'm also short. Quite short. So nothing long, not longer than a normal person's knee length anyway. On top of that, I'm quite small but with some pretty big boobs, so that rules out anything strapless without boning, anything that's supposed to be fitted, (it fits everywhere and the boobs are spilling out, or it fits the boobs and is hanging off everywhere else).

Also, as a bona fide kooky chick, I don't want anything boring or even similar to anyone else, so that rules out anything from Monsoon, Coast, River Island, Top Shop, Miss Selfridge and TK Maxx. And I'd also like it to top last year's outfit, a yellow mini dress with electric blue belt, shoes and makeup.

As you can see, it's been a struggle. I have however had my eye on one of these beauties. But, being a student, and after paying out £45 for a ticket, they were a little out of my price range.

Enter.... EBAY! I have just won this little lovely. I'm impressed! Now, I know it's from George at ASDA, and I know it's probably not going to be as perfect in the flesh as it is in my mind. But I'm thinking, get rid of that little sash thing, get a big fat (adjustable) belt, a huge underskirt and put my size fours in some kick ass shoes. I reckon I'll be good to go!

Lets just hope no one else has the same taste as me!

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.

So I was absolutely desperate to see Happy-Go-Lucky at the Cornerhouse cinema last night and boy did it deliver. Sally Hawkins is utterly believeable in the stupidly happy role and she plays it completely without irony.

I was talking about this film in work on Tuesday night and I was saying "Well it's called Happy-Go-Lucky and the main character it totally optimistic about everything and tries to spread that love around. But you know, I'm sure something happens at the end where it falls spectacularly apart."

But it didn't, I was waiting for it. Bad things do happen to good people. And people can't be that happy all of the time. But Poppy can, and you believe it, and you love her. Even though everyone around her wants to protect her as they think she's secretly harbouring some massive depression. She's not. She's just like that.

I'm not sure that Mike Leigh, also director of Vera Drake, is trying to make any kind of profound statement about optimism, happiness or the intrinsic British trait of expecting everything to go wrong at any given moment. I think he was trying to make a lovely film, about a lovely character who handles her life in the most peculiar but spectacular way. She always knows what to say, but not in a smart arse way that makes you want to hate her. Occasionally the dialogue is a little cringeworthy and the extremely quick comebacks seem a little planned sometimes. But nothing can take away from the genuine niceness of this film.

Everyone needs a little bit of Poppy in their lives. And I'll defintely be buying th DVD to watch when I feel a dark cloud passing overhead.

Exams, to-do lists and wishing my life away...

I've never been the type of person to wish my life away, if I'm unhappy about something then I'll try to change it, if I'm looking forward to something I'll count down the days but keep myself busy with everything else instead of wishing the days away.

Until now that is. I absolutely cannot wait to get my final exam out of the way and relax. This has been a difficult year at Uni, made more difficult with my complete inability to be pleased with any of the work I do or the marks I get. I am revising for one exam which is next week and I keep staring longingly at the calendar, my diary and to-do list wishing that it was next Wednesday and that I'd finished my degree. I never thought I'd say this, but I cannot wait to finish! I'm tempted to go straight to the bar after the exam, but stupidly, I signed myself up to work on Tuesday evening, so the Lambrini will have to wait until 8pm.

Also, I've started to really look forward to having a real job, applying for all the jobs I used to wish about are now in my reach with this degree under my belt. I'm not going to talk about them just yet, because there's one in particular that is so perfect, I'm even scared to apply! Need to get a demo of me on the radio made this week and that's all I'm saying just now! It will be all I can talk about once I've submitted that!

So, back to revision it is. What is reality? How do documentary makers attempt to represent it and how valid and effective is the blend of fact and fiction in Docudrama?

Fun times huh?

Oh, and what happened to CSI last night? The first in the new series, I was really excited, but there was nothing new, nothing different, yes I loved it and the puzzle was intriguing and the ending was a little exciting. But really, was it worth the wait? I don't think so. I could have easily found a back episode that I hadn't seen for a while and have been just as entertained. Oh well. I'm not going to stop watching though.

Is it so wrong?

As you may have gathered from my last few posts, I am currently writing my dissertation. It's in the final stages now and I can see the end looming in sight. It's due on Tuesday afternoon and I'm in the process of making it sound as good as I possibly can now. I've written all the words and now I'm trying to sound sophisticated and argumentative. It's hard.

I don't trust anyone to be honest with me about my writing and most of my friends here have their own dissertations to worry about without having to read through mine. Is it wrong that I probably wouldn't trust anyone else with it either? I wouldn't trust anyone else to make a better job of it, even though I know my work isn't exactly perfect.

Well I better get back to it, I did start writing this to get my mind going, but now I'm in the flow and thinking, I'm going to focus my efforts on why the Americanisation theory doesn't work in Britain. (Argumentative enough?).

Just who do they think they are?

White middle class men on daytime television I mean. Just who gave them the right to be so condesending and rascist and downright arrogant? I'm not talking about Phillip Schofield though, oh no, he's lovely, I'm talking about other types who aren't quite as sucessful or happy such as Jeremy Kyle and that bloke off 'The Wright Stuff'.

I have just watched a rascist, narrow minded tirade at white working class people, from a white s0-called middle class man, who thinks that because he's on the telly he has the god given right to talk over people, tell them they're inferior and completely disregard any opinion other than his own (including that of his fellow presenters) because he's the one with the 'power' to cut callers off if he doesn't want to hear them.

Who does he think he is, his argument was thin and based on his uninformed tiny little mind on a power trip. If he had a slight bit of intelligence, he would listen to his callers and get a bit of informed debate going on. But instead, he couldn't get past his own arrogance and proceeded to wind people up by shouting over then, and cutting them off when he'd said his piece.

What was interesting though, was his respect for the black people on the show. He branded everyone on his panel, as middle class because of thier jobs as journalists, writers or politicians. However, the black comedian, who is obviously earning a fair wage (since that's how he judges class) was asked "As a black working class man, do you think white people have a right to winge?!" Trying to be politically correct, because he knows there are laws against racism now was the only thing stopping this man from cutting off anyone who mentioned their race while on the phone.

What happened to informed public debate, surely shows such as this should be the sounding board for it. Not an opportunity to give a man a microphone and a power trip in the name of entertainment.

Dissertation, Dissertation...

Like Relocation Relocation, well not really, Kirsty and Phil have got nothing on political communication. I now have five sleeps until my Dissertation has to be handed in.

It's not going too badly but I keep finding interesting tangents that I could have included had I done more research earlier! I am quite far ahead, and I've done more than a lot of my friends, but by no means am I nearly finished and although I'm enjoying the process, because I have no choice but to sit here for hours on end typing and reading and typing and referencing and then giving sympathy and support to everyone else, I'm exhausted! I'm looking forward to submitting then even though I don't have to, I'm going to print and bind my work, just to have it in my hand. I'm going to be very proud of myself when I'm done.

I had something to say about Prince Harry fighting in secret.... But since it was weeks ago and I don't care as much now, I'm not going to bother. I respect the editors involved for keeping quiet and I was completely shocked at the supportive comments left on the BBC website, so that's what I was going to say in case you were wondering.

Well back to work for me.... It's going to be a strange feeling when it's over!

Just get on with it...

So in getting away from campus last night I went to Manchester's answer to the Glasgow Film Theatre, The Cornerhouse. Full of pretentious wankers discussing themes and rhetoric and the genius of some obscure director in really loud voices while looking around to see who noticed their vast knowledge. I'm not one of them. I just like films, I even don't like some films. In fact, there are probably more books and films that I don't like, than those I do.

So, weaving my little way through the wankers, I found my seat in the 80's retro cinema with bright red comfortable seats and those weird mottled glass shades over bare bulbs around the edges. They even have a curtain over the strangely small screen which was to show the EPIC in every sense of the word 'There Will Be Blood'. The wankers loved it.

To be honest, I liked it too, but it was just too long, not enough happened to warrant the two and a half hours in which I had to sit (beside my sleeping boyfriend let me add) wondering where this was all going. It was filmed beautifully and Daniel Day-Lewis thoroughly deserved his Best Actor Oscar as the tormented oil merchant greedily buying up land for his personal gain. But it did take a while to get started, 15 minutes without a word spoken to begin. Which I thought was brilliant, you don't notice until someone does speak that it's been a while.

But, and I feel bad for criticising this wildly acclaimed film (I think it's the wankers' influence), I didn't care about it until the last hour and a half where the characters really came into their own and some shocking twists and turns leave you gripped, not knowing whether to love or hate Daniel Day-Lewis' excellent portrayal of Daniel Plainview. Apparently he spent four years working on the part and the depth and absolute immersion in the film is clear.

It leaves you thinking, wondering what to believe, and in a weird way, thinking about people and what they want to achieve. How long before passion turns into greed, and how long before it takes over your life and you have to live with the consequences, and will you really care?

Hmmm... Maybe I am one of the wankers, but at least I'm not out in public shouting about it!

I'm starting again....

This last week has been a complete and utter write off. Everything that could have gone wrong did and I have this female complex (which is new, I think it means I'm getting old) which means I take responsibility for things to keep the peace then feel guilty about them even though these things weren't my fault.

I've apologised where necessary and shouted where appropriate along with making some people really understand where I'm coming from which is also a new trait, but which has had (semi) good results today.

I'm still feeling the hangover, emotionally and it's definitely showing physically, hence the show off my favourite clothes in my 365 project, just so I don't have to show my face! The emotional hangover is much harder to deal with, like I said, some things were my fault, others were not. But I feel guilty about them all, and I don't know what to do except forget and move on.

I'm not going to go into detail about everything that has happened, very counter-productive on the moving on I would think. So this is the fresh start, I'll deal with the sickness and the pressure and the stress and the dissertation and forget about the people and just get on.

I hope it works.

In other news I got this email today:


Hi Shelley,

Thanks very much for this - you've done a really good job.

On the strength of this, would you be interested in writing anything else for the next issue?

Just let me know over the next week or so.

Many thanks. Jayne

From corporate communications after I wrote a lengthy news story for them. Quite pleased with that, not too sure if I can take on any extra work yet, but good news all round I think.

Lets hope the good stuff continues...